I wanna apologize for being a little absent lately – last Thursday I had my final exam. Fingers crossed and you can call me Master Of Law very soon. Woohoo!
Today I’m gonna do a bit of a soul-striptease for you (nothing nasty, I promise!) and share a universal truth that will change your life forever. Sounds super dramatic, but it’s quite simple once you break it down to what it really is. Ready for it?
I used to be very “an-eye-for-an-eye-y” a couple of years ago. What? That means I didn’t forgive easily. If at all.
I was more like… a bitch. (no need to bullshit anyone here) I used to judge the crap out of people as if I was something better. As if I knew it all. Had it aaaall figured out.
What the hell was I thinking?
Not much, really…
I guess what I wanted above all at that time was to be respected by others. And somehow I thought the way to achieve that was by being a badass. A cold-as-ice kinda gal. You break my heart, I break your nose, legs and maybe a rib or two. (I didn’t really break anything or anyone of course)
I thought in order to protect myself I had to appear so tough on the outside, that people wouldn’t even consider hurting me.
Well, there’s something I got totally wrong! How’s that for a change? ;)
It took me a while to understand just how fucking stupid I was. To understand that I was constantly hurting myself. And blocking the door to my own happiness like the chief-bouncer at the most expensive club in town. No freaking way you’ll get in here.
See, back then I believed that if people “mistreated” me, I had to get back at them. An eye for an eye, you know. Show them that they can’t just “wrong me” and get away with it. Cause I was a badass motherfucker and that’s how we roll. Or something…
Revenge is sweet they say. And best served cold.
(I guess that makes it something like a pudding. But that’s not my point.)
My point is: revenge is dumb. End of story.
Forgiveness is the real freaking deal.
And here’s why:
Getting back at someone will never make you happy. It’s a trap! A vicious circle. It will never undo what’s been done to you. You’d only bring more negative bullshit into our world. And nobody needs that, thanks.
There’s a better and easier way to get rid of your grudges. Resentments. Your anger.
Just let it go. Forgive.
But Hannah!” you might wanna say. “HOW could I ever forgive ____?” you might wanna scream.
Yeah, I know. Some things seem just too hard to forgive. You’ve suffered too much. You’re too angry. You’ve shed too many tears. So how on earth are you supposed to let it go and forgive? HOW!?
I will answer that question with another question (fuck me, right?):
How much will it cost you to NOT let it go? To NOT forgive and move on?
One of my favorite questions ever by the way.
Answer: it will cost you EVERYTHING. If you don’t let go, if you can’t forgive, you will pay with your own happiness. Maybe even with your health. Your talents. The joy in your life. Your grudge will eat it all like a hungry lioness will feast on a pork chop after you put her on a 3-month vegan diet.
So maybe that kid Jeremy made fun of your nerdy glasses in 3rd grade.
Maybe your boss is a complete asshole.
Maybe your sister had an affair with your husband (a biggie admittedly).
Maybe he said he’d call and never did.
Maybe your best friend left you standing alone in the pouring rain, wondering where the hell her umbrella is now?
Maybe you never got that college degree you wanted so badly.
Maybe you punish yourself with constant feelings of guilt and not being good enough.
Maybe you were hurt physically – or worse.
The thingy is: WHO FUCKING CARES?
Shit happens and it always will. The ONLY (!) thing you can do for yourself?
Flush that shit down the toilet where it belongs.
If you’re planning to hang on to it? Sooner or later your life’s gonna STINK!
You can’t change the past. You can only free yourself from it in order to have a brighter future.
They say the truth hurts.
I say the truth will set you free.
That’s why I’m telling you this today and I know it’s not something everyone’s ready to hear. But I believe it’s the only truth.
And if you manage to let go and forgive? You’re gonna set yourself free.
Free yourself from all the crap that others “did to you”. Free yourself from the past. Make room for the future.
2014 is so close, you can smell it. Don’t carry that heavy load with you into the new year. Leave it behind, flush it right here in 2013. And start fresh: with a light heart and an open mind.
Who are you gonna forgive?
What piece of shit are you gonna flush down the toilet this year, so that you’re free from it 2014?
I can’t wait to hear!