Leaving Money On The Table? 3 Signs You’re Stuck In The Business Friendzone And How To Get The Hell Out Of There

Being stuck in the friendzone just sucks. If you want something (or someone) SO BAD but you never make it to that next level? Never take the leap? Never break through?

It’s torture.

Your deepest desire is right in front of your nose, holding a massive red sign that says “Can’t Touch This”. (Daaa da da da…)

It’s the classic symptom of getting sooooo close to your goal and then somehow screwing up real bad.

So – YES – I believe that being stuck in the mothereffin’ friendzone is just another form of self-sabotage. We’ve all been there!

When it comes to business, there are 3 clear sings that you, my friend, are in the zone:

  • Everybody loves your free stuff but nobody buys from you
  • People tell you how great you are but then they hire someone else
  • You get lots of inquires but no sales

Ever happened to you?

It’s awesome that people like you and you should be grateful for that! But the truth is: That’s only step 1! And if you’re not taking step 2, you’re leaving money on the table!

Step 2: finally getting laid paid.

Here are 3 things you need to do to get out of the business friendzone and burn the freaking bridges behind you:

1. Tell people to buy from you

Before you call me Captain Obvious and throw the leftovers of your green smoothie at me, take a step back and look at your business.

When was the last time you actually offered something?

When did you last promote the heck out of your products and services?

When you talk to your prospects: are you actually asking them to buy from you?

You’re running a business, not a charity and people KNOW THAT! It’s not a surprise to them, so don’t wait for permission to get paid!

Especially when you’re not yet dominating your market/industry/the world you need to be proactive and put yourself out there. Captain Obvious has another one for you today: It’s not “you build it and they come”. (yeah, I know…)

2. Stop bartering

It’s tempting to exchange services, but if people approach you, because they want your stuff? You’re leaving big bucks on the table!

You don’t have to say yes and you’re not an asshole if you say no.

The same goes for friend(zone) discounts. I know you love your friends and I do too, but you’re shooting yourself in both feet if you’re always saying yes to them and no to you and your business.

You’re not a selfish bitch for wanting to get out of the friendzone. Especially us ladies tend to give, give, give until we forget to receive. Which leads us to:

3. Get over yourself

As a woman in business, no matter how tough or bad-ass (you think) you are… there’s a chance you have money issues.

When it comes to money and sales you might feel stupid or icky or guilty or greedy or self-absorbed or slimy or unspiritual or whatever bullshit emotion comes up for you.

You need to get over that ASAP!

This is the self-sabotage biggie and it can be a tricky one. But only if you’re not aware of it. So I’m challenging you today:

Look into your money issues.

Do you believe that you’re not worthy of making big bucks or that you have to work until you faint to make some?

Do you believe that every wealthy person is pure evil and should burn in hell in a fire made out of all their paper money?

Are you a rebel who hates capitalism because it’s not fair and there are kids starving in Africa? (raising my own hand here)

Whatever belief it is, it’s holding you back from making real money and keeping you stuck in the freaking friendzone.

So read a book, do a course or get a coach to resolve this.

I mean it: you can do everything right, but if you’re self-sabotaging to a point where you repel money? You gotta get that shit sorted!

(I can recommend “Get Rich Lucky Bitch” by the amazingly practical Denise Duffield Thomas and I just started to read “Money: A Love Story” by Kate Northrup. Whatever you choose, just do something!)

I know all of this doesn’t feel comfortable and you’re not gonna wanna do it. But ask yourself this: how much will it cost me to not do it?

COMM(ITM)ENT TIME! I wanna know from you:

Which specific product or service are you gonna tell people to buy from you?

What is the biggest stupid money belief that’s holding you back and what are you gonna do about it?



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11 thoughts on “Leaving Money On The Table? 3 Signs You’re Stuck In The Business Friendzone And How To Get The Hell Out Of There”

  1. Loved the post! As always. To answer your Q’s:

    1. I’m going to tell people to start paying me for website consulting, because I’m tired of giving away tons of free advice to clients who haven’t committed to me being their website designer yet.

    2. That’s a good question! I like that you said a common belief is that people have to work their asses off to make the big bucks. I know that’s very true (at the beginning), but so many people forget that there are ways to do this so you set yourself up for long-term success (which allows you to make great money while working a lot less after a few years). It’s all about efficiency and using your time wisely!

    Thanks for makin’ me think.

    XO Lauren

    1. Thank you so much, Lauren!

      1. Amen! That’s also a true friendzone classic and I used to give away free advice for way too long myself!

      2. You’re absolutely right! Might be an 80/20 case. To sit down and figure out what actually serves your business and what’s a drain ;)

      It is my pleasure!


  2. Here are my answers: 1) I’m going to start offering coaching for other invitation designers who would like to get started in the biz (rather than giving advice away for free all the time) 2) My biggest limiting belief around money has been that it has to be hard to make good money. I’m working on taking that belief down. :)

    1. Jen, thanks so much for the love!

      Yes, that’s awesome! At some point you gotta make the brain-picking stop. Or charge for it ;)

      Get rid of the useless belief, there are tons of people out there proving it wrong everyday!


  3. very true!
    I have just changed my packages so that you can work with me for very little or for a bit more. So I really don’t go second guessing “can she afford me? Because I want to help”. Now I know that if my prospective client is committed, there is a way and I can’t shy away.
    My biggest issue is trying not to be pushy. I go the other way! I’ve been a very, very poor student and I over sympathize with money issues. So, I just redesigned the packages to stop myself from doing this :)

    1. YEEESSS, Maria!!!
      That’s SO TRUE! I’m sure a lot of us can relate to the “I wanna help” issue big time! But the downside is that lots of times the “free” clients are much less committed to even working with you. Which leaves you frustrated and resentful. So I do believe that paying for services is a total win-win!
      Love how you came up with different offers! I wrote about different price ranges for different prospects here! :)


    1. Yay, Sarah! I love me some Denise (not in the nasty way of course!). Money Bootcamp is totally on my list! So I guess it worked for you!? :)


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